Home Romantic Relationship Why Do We Continue To Maintain Toxic Relationships?

Why Do We Continue To Maintain Toxic Relationships?

Maybe you feel dependent on the person you are with, continue the relationship disappointed and dissatisfied, and do everything you can to improve the relationship. You tell yourself that all these mistakes are just one-time, and you hope things will be different in the future. Here’s the hard truth we need to realize: People are made up of behavioral patterns. A human being is not a systematic being created by your hope and dream. Let’s look at the problems of hoping in a relationship away from reality and how we can evaluate the relationship on a factual basis.

How can hope create problems in a relationship?

Hope, motivation, and inspiration are a great power. Hope can help us write a book or finish training for a marathon. Hope can keep us by the bedside of a sick person we love. Hope is a beautiful quality in many contexts, but when it comes to people, Without awareness, hope can hide the negative realities of a relationship. Therapists argue that instead of focusing on our hopes for who that person might be, we should see the person’s behavior patterns.

In interpersonal relationships, hope often manifests itself in repeated attachment patterns. For example, you may have experienced narcissistic abuse as a child, or you may have a family/caregiver who is not taking care of you. So you hope that someone will change and eventually give us the love you want. The feeling of longing or deprivation may be familiar to you. You hope that if you are good enough, talented, thin, smart, or attractive enough, you will eventually get the attention you crave from that person. You are intoxicated with the fantasy of who this person might be without even realizing it. Thus y without even realizing you leave the ground of reality.

What is a behavioral pattern?

So what is mold? When it comes to people, it’s healthy to focus on that person’s patterns. For example, if someone continues to neglect to answer your calls after expressing how bad it makes you feel, that’s a big clue as to who they are. If someone has hurt them more than once, refuses to apologize, or does not accept responsibility for their role in the conflict, this is one of the person’s behavior patterns. Likewise, it’s a pattern. It’s a pattern. It’s a pattern. It’s a pattern. If someone’s design has lied to you several times, find yourself making excuses for your partner’s behavior or taking chances after luck, and they continue to do the same; you’re ignoring these patterns.

Are you living in a real relationship or hope?

It is hazardous if you aIt is extremely dangerous if you create a world that doesn’t exist by keeping hope in the relationship, checking the relationship, taking a step back, and looking for patterns. You can ask yourself these questions:

  • In what ways is this relationship satisfying?
  • In what ways is this relationship unsatisfactory?
  • What behavior is this person displaying insecure, negligent, unsatisfying?
  • How often does he act in an uncertain or lousy manner?
  • Am I expressing my needs? Or do I hope things go magically with this person without putting too much effort into knowing what I need and communicating those needs?
  • Is there anything I can do to communicate my needs more directly?
  • Have I seen evidence that this person is trying to meet my needs and improve the relationship stories I tell myself about who this person will be for me?
  • Am I realistic about who this person is, or am I idealizing them and creating a magical reality?

Hope certainly has a place in relationships when you see evidence of someone trying to fulfill your needs and wanting to improve the relationship. But if you are living your fantasies instead, ou, you be careful.

When it comes to hope, awareness is paramount. You can be your protector by being aware of the hopes or fantasies you create.