We are constantly analyzing every action to understand the world. We are in a constant state of judgment. We judge ourselves, our thoughts, looks, and emotions (and sometimes even ourselves for having these emotions). We believe others, their decisions, experiences, and backgrounds. Have you ever thought about where does this judgment cycle come from?
It is a fact that judgment is common in society, but that doesn’t mean we can’t do anything about it. According to Shaman Durek, the real reason we judge others is simpler than we think. It takes a little more work and intention to free ourselves from this vicious circle.
Why do we judge others?
According to Shaman Durek, judgment is a response to fear. “The judiciary is your protection mechanism,” he says. “So it’s an act of not having to deal with the unknown.” When we don’t know enough about someone, our inner mechanism is filled with fear of the unknown. Rather than striving to learn about them and their past, he judges them.
This shows that we are not inherently malicious people. “We act this way because we are not taught emotional intelligence in our families, schools, and other institutions,” explains Derek. Therefore, we are not open to learning from new concepts that we fear or cannot understand.
What can we do to break the judicial cycle?
It is imperative to take conscious action against the judgmental instincts rooted in us. First step: Be open to learning. Do not be afraid to learn new concepts and ask questions you do not know. If you have encountered a new culture, be willing to learn about it. If you come across a new concept, volunteer to learn about it before judging. The next step is to “let go of the idea of shame, blame, and labeling”. In other words, in this learning journey, you embark on being attentive to your automatic reactions and give up all actions that will make the other party feel wrong with conscious awareness.
According to Shaman Durek, the system is designed to divide us into groups so that groups can be controlled. That’s why getting together is so important. This is how we can rise above the system. “Let’s turn our anger into fuel to push ourselves to create real change so we can thrive and deal with it,” Shaman Durek says.
To sum up, to truly free ourselves from judgment, we must approach the unknown not with fear but with genuine curiosity. We should be comfortable asking people about their culture and their preferences. As if discovering a new world, we should listen with interest, without prejudice. Labeling and blame must be shelved.
As Shaman Durek says, “No matter what we face, we are smart enough to lean on love.”