Home Psychology The Self-Esteem Journey: The 3 Elements of Self-Esteem

The Self-Esteem Journey: The 3 Elements of Self-Esteem

Self-respect, one of the most fundamental dimensions of our personality, is a sensitive, abstract, and complex phenomenon that we are not always conscious of. The concept of self-esteem comes from the word self-esteem. When we look at its meaning, the verb timer also means to respect, but in Latin, this word comes from the verb to evaluate and can also be translated as ‘evaluate oneself’ or ‘to value oneself. Spending time to understand the concept of self-esteem better is not an empty and useless endeavor; it is even the most productive, valuable work.

Take some time to think about the three questions grouped below.

Accurate determinations of your self-worth will depend on these responses.

  • Who am I? What are my qualifications and flaws? What ability do I have? What are my successes, failures, talents, and limitations? What is my worth in my own eyes, in the eyes of my relatives, and those who know me?
  • Do I see myself as someone who deserves the sympathy, closeness, and love of another, or do I often doubt my abilities to make me a worthy and loved person? Am I living the life I want? Are my actions in line with my desires and thoughts, or am I suffering because of the gap between what I want to be and what I am? Am I at peace with myself, or am I always insatiable?
  • When was the last time I felt disappointed, disgruntled, and sad? When did I feel proud, content, and happy?

The 3 Elements of Self-Respect

There are three elements of self-respect; self-confidence, self-seeing, and self-love. To create a harmonious state of self-esteem, the dosage of these three elements must be fine-tuned.

1. Self-love

This is the most crucial element. Self-respect requires self-worth, but there are no conditions for self-love. We love ourselves despite our flaws and limitations, failures and setbacks, and the reason is simple: A faint inner voice tells us that we are worthy of love and respect. This ‘unconditional’ self-love has nothing to do with our achievements. It is proof that we can withstand misfortune and pick ourselves up after a failure. It cannot prevent us from feeling bitter and doubtful in the face of difficulties, but it protects us from despair.

2. The way you see yourself

This way of seeing oneself, this right or wrong assessment of one’s qualities and flaws, is the second pillar of self-respect. It’s not just about self-knowledge here; What matters is not the reality of the facts but the qualities, flaws, possibilities, or limitations that the individual believes they have. In this sense, this is a phenomenon in which subjectivity plays the most critical role; It is a complex subject to study and sensitive to understand. For this reason, for example, a person with a difficult – who usually does not have much self-respect – leaves an environment that cannot grasp the flaws that he believes he has in himself, often in a state of anxiety and uncertainty. It is an inner strength that allows us to expect happiness despite setbacks when we see ourselves positively. Sometimes, a limited form of seeing oneself pushes the individual to depend on others. In this case, one can establish satisfying relationships with others but is content with the role of a spectator, doing nothing but crossing paths opened by others. Has difficulty in creating and realizing personal projects.

3. Confidence

The third element of self-respect—often confused with self-respect—confidence relates specifically to our actions. Self-confidence means thinking that one will act appropriately in essential situations. Unlike self-love, and especially how you see yourself, self-confidence is not difficult to diagnose; It may be sufficient to look at the behavior or how he approaches the difficulties in the job he undertakes. To the extent that self-respect needs action, the role of self-confidence is crucial.

Small daily achievements are necessary for our psychological balance, just as food and oxygen are necessary for our bodily balance.

So, where does self-confidence come from?

Mainly from the education given in the family or at school. In these settings, are failures presented to the child as possible but not dramatic consequences of their actions? Is the child rewarded for trying, as well as for achieving something? How is he taught that he must learn from difficulties, not from the conclusion that he should not do anything again? The feeling of self-confidence is conveyed to the child through actions and words. Encouraging the child to admit failure doesn’t do much if we don’t act the same way ourselves. Children know that their actions rather than speech should judge the true thoughts of adults.

Not being overly frightened by the unknown or setbacks proves a good sense of self-confidence. A lack of self-confidence is not an impossible deficiency.

These three elements of self-esteem are broadly interconnected: self-love (respecting oneself, after all, listening to one’s needs and aspirations) undoubtedly facilitates a positive view of oneself (believing in one’s abilities, making plans for the future), which in turn boosts self-esteem. Positive effects on confidence (acting without too much fear of failure and judgment of others).