Narcissism is a type of personality disorder. The situation in question is that the person’s self-love is excessively high. That’s why we call people who love themselves to the level of love and even those who can’t find time to love others rather than themselves narcissists. Today, we have all encountered such people in emotional relationships and friendships. While it is tough to have relationships with such individuals, imagine being manipulated by them. This already complicated situation turns into an inextricable situation. Could you have been used by this effect, which is a kind of psychological torture by selfish people, and have doubted yourself? If so, you may be experiencing the gaslighting effect.
What is this Gaslighting?
Gaslighting, which has no equivalent in Turkish, is a form of manipulation applied by selfish individuals. They regularly subject you to manipulation, making you doubt yourself over time. Their goal is to lower your self-confidence and make you dependent on them for life. What makes the Gaslighting Effect even more dangerous is that it is tough for the victim to notice. This manipulation is a very effective method to control the other party, especially in emotional relationships. As they are exposed to psychological violence, the victim’s self-confidence decreases over time and becomes dependent on the other person’s words.
Why do they do this?
The love of individuals for themselves is never enough for them; they want the people around them to be dependent on them. Especially in an emotional relationship, their partner’s dependence on him and inability to leave him feeds this type of individual. This situation cycles over time, and you suddenly depend on your partner. If you can’t break up with him, this situation pleases him, and he continues these manipulations. As he continues these manipulations, you will be stuck in this cycle.
So how do we know that we are exposed to the Gaslighting Effect in a relationship?
• If you are sure of a situation and the other person makes you doubt yourself,
• If you are the one who is always unfair in your relationship with your partner,
• If your ideas are not given importance,
• If your self-confidence has decreased over time,
• If you are exposed to the exaggeration anger of the other party when you express your own opinion,
• And most importantly, if you begin to doubt yourself, you may have been exposed to the Gaslighting Effect, even on a small scale. Anyway, don’t ignore this situation just because it’s small. Remember, significant losses always start with small steps.
We have said that it is tough for the victim to notice these manipulations. So how do we achieve this?
• If you are sure of yourself, do not give in to the other person.
• Defend your right to the end.
• When you defend yourself, the other person will attack again and try to suppress you with anger, don’t let this hurt your self-confidence.
By opposing these manipulations, your self-confidence will come back over time, and the other person will give up when they see that it doesn’t work for you. Behaving consistently will break the pressure on your partner in this regard. Thus, you can continue your relationship more healthily, or if you see that it will not change, you can end it without further injury.