Many people won’t do it, even if the relationship needs to be ended for different reasons. Some people fear loneliness while others are more afraid of it. Most people ignore the fact that a relationship is in decline. It is easier to believe everything is fine until it becomes impossible to refuse to accept.
It is difficult to know when a relationship should end. It all depends on the people involved and their current situation. Dr. John Gottman argues that there are some constants Signs that the relationship is working It is crumbling.
Four catastrophes ended their relationship: The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Gottman discovered four forms of communication that could spell doom for any relationship. Gottman calls them the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
1. Criticism
Critical is the first horseman of communication. Direct criticism The other is the target Character of an individual Instead of complaining about an unpleasant situation or criticizing someone’s behavior, try to be positive.
What is the difference between complaining or criticizing?
Complaining: “I wish you could help with the dishes. It’s not an easy job to do on your own. You’re on the couch, watching TV, and I’m trying to wash your hands.
Criticism: “You are selfish!” You don’t think about what I feel or what I have done for you.
There is a difference. The first refers to a particular behavior, the second to who your partner really is.
These criticisms do not mean that the relationship is perfect. Your relationship is doomed. For sure. Sometimes we resort to this criticism when we feel angry. If it becomes a constant and unavoidable part of our daily lives, however, How to raise a problemThere is a problem.
If you’re looking to Always criticize It’s possible to think that your partner is attacking your partner in the same manner. This can lead to humiliation or belittlement. It’s possible to salvage the relationship at this point but it’s still a troubling sign. You should think about whether ending it would be a better choice.
2. Defensive attitude
The defensive attitude is our second rider. This can be described as a response to criticism. Protecting oneself from an perceived attack is the purpose of a defensive mentality. Although we may take a defensive position by blaming outside factors, we often blame our partner for this behavior. This makes the other party feel obligated to take responsibility.
Here’s an example of defensive behavior:
Complaining: “I feel like things haven’t been going smoothly in our sex lives for some time, and that you don’t care about what my needs or desires are.”
Defensive attitude: “Maybe we could have an enjoyable sex life together if you weren’t constantly nagging about chores.”
People don’t like being told they did something wrong or that they hurt someone else. We want to be right and good so this talk can undermine our self-confidence.
Defensiveness is a way to blame the other party. The message is this: It’s not you, it’s you. If the person refuses even a small amount of responsibility, it is a sign that they are not ready to accept this responsibility. Their partner may be offended by their behavior You may feel invisible or unheard.
Being defensive in all aspects A relationship is a sign of infidelity This is the best way to make your relationship work. This It means that the other side Refuse to comply Recognize their actions and do not overlook the harm they did to their partner. A partner who displays a defensive attitude towards their partner is not someone who has needs.He has feelings, thoughts, and ideas for the other. He sees it as an object that can satisfy his needs and acts accordingly.
You might be considering reevaluating your relationship if you find your partner approaching you with a defensive or threatening attitude. This could be the time to end things.
3. Humiliation
The humiliation is our third rider. When we don’t respect another person, we show contempt. Shame can be a powerful weapon Many ways to express it. These expressions; Teasing can be done in the form of impersonating them or rolling your eyes at them.. They can be named and made fun of. This behavior serves the purpose of making someone else feel inferior and worthless.
We are sure that you have experienced this kind of treatment. Humiliating the other person is the best sign that you don’t value his feelings, needs, or respect.
It is a red flag if there is humiliation in a couple. danger sign. This means that partners no longer respect each other but are trying to dominate one another. It is a sign of growing hostility or anger. Without love and respect, a relationship will not last.
This is a sign that your partner doesn’t care about you anymore. You should question why you are still living with him if you behave this way. The chances of salvaging a relationship are very slim if there is not respect between the parties.
4. Refusing communicate
The most important, the last. It can be detrimental to the relationshipOur horseman refuses to communicate with us. Like the defensive posture, it’s a response to humiliation and criticism.
Your communication is at its worst if you feel like you’re speaking against a wall and not someone in a relationship. Refusing communication is when one party withdraws from eye contact, refuses to talk, or avoids responding to the other.
This is a sign that the relationship has reached a critical point. It can be difficult, if not impossible, to get it back together. This is a strong sign that it is time to end the relationship.
They will do almost anything but engage in a conversation. They speak only when they are absolutely necessary. After that, silence and escape follow.
Is it time to end the relationship?
It is important that you remember that every couple can criticize each other from time-to-time, be condescending and defensive, refuse to communicate and be supportive of one another. However, if one is present constantly in your relationship it is an indicator that something isn’t right.
You can also try to Improve your relationshipRelationship therapists can help you express your feelings clearly and communicate with you. While you may ultimately make the right decision for your relationship and it is up to you, you need to remember that you are worthy of the best.