Many sources in the sex therapy literature mention that sexual intimacy fears may play an essential role in sexual problems. The unconscious fears of intimacy can be expressed through sexual issues. It can be said that there may be unconscious fears about intimacy, especially under the issues related to commitment and sexual desire.
Intimacy in sexual intercourse does not only mean physical intimacy. Sexuality includes emotional intimacy as well as physical intimacy for people. Therefore, proximity; also meets the needs of the person to be valued and respected, to receive/give emotional support, to be connected, and to express yourself as you are.
In his theory of intimacy, Weeks & Fife mention that everyone may have some unconscious fear of intimacy. However, these fears are not intense in most couples and do not manifest as sexual problems. In some people, intimacy and fears are so fierce that they reflect on the relationship as sexual problems/difficulties.
Types of Intimacy Fear
It is impossible to describe the fear of intimacy in sexual intercourse with a single definition. The most common ones are; fear of rejection, fear of commitment, fear of anger, fear of emotions, and fear of losing control. Let’s examine them in more detail!
fear of rejection
The person may be afraid of being abandoned or rejected during sexual intercourse. If the person had a life where their wishes were frequently left by their parents during childhood, they might carry this fear. In general, people with this fear are afraid to establish sexual intimacy and intimacy. They do not want to express their wishes.
Fear of Commitment
Unwarranted fears of losing independence prevent a person from having sexual intercourse. Others may be too afraid of giving control or being dependent on someone else. The person who has this fear sees sexual intercourse as losing his freedom. Therefore, sexual intimacy is avoided.
fear of anger
Some people fear hurting their partners by projecting their suppressed anger on them. In sexual intercourse, they assume they can lose control over their anger. For this reason, they may prefer avoiding sharing irritation, avoiding sexual intercourse, and not communicating verbally.
Don’t be afraid of emotions.
Some people feel that they will lose control over their emotions during sex. When someone who performs unusually to control their out-of-control emotions realizes that they cannot do this, they avoid intimacy in sexual intercourse to avoid feeling anything.
Fear of losing control
Finally, some people are worried about losing themselves during the relationship or their partner taking control of them. For this reason, they may exhibit an extremely controlling attitude in sexual intercourse. Excessive controlling can hinder intimacy and sexual intimacy.
I hope it was a helpful article to understand yourself. I hope it was a valuable article to understand yourself. I hope it was a helpful article to understand yourself. We examined together the most common intimacy fears among couples. Regardless of the sexual problem experienced, if the underlying cause is fear of intimacy, it will be tough to progress on the sexual issue without working and solving these fears. If you are having problems in your sexual life due to you or your partner, you can first check whether these fears exist in both of you. If you find it challenging to calm these fears, you can get help from a professional who is specialized in the field.