Everyone wants to be happy and in healthy relationships. It is normal to have disagreements or arguments from time to time. This is healthy. Some cases, however, can make the discussion more complicated and inextricable. These situations can be unconstructive and more destructive than constructive. End the relationship It was there, but we didn’t know it.

What are the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and what do they represent?

Gottman Couples Therapy was established by Dr. John Gottman (founder) and Dr. By Julie Gottman (founder).We have spent a lot of time scientifically researching the various situations. Relationships that are damaged and can cause the end of these marriages. The result was that they proposed four distinct behavior styles which they called the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”. These behavior patterns include criticism, defense, humiliation and wall-building. This quartet was detrimental to healthy communication and prevented them from communicating. Behaviors were not alteredIt could also lead to high rates of divorce and dissolution of marriages.

1. Criticism

Criticism refers to a behavior that makes another party feel inadequate and sends an unsuitable message. This behavior focuses on fault-finding, and judge the behavior and thoughts the other party. The other party feels guilty that the ‘you’ language is being used. The other side defends itself by feeling attacked; the conflict becomes more violent.

What can be done to change it?

This situation must be eliminated. It is important to place emphasis on actions beyond themselves. Use ‘I’ Language will be also more effective when the other party sees it. More efficiently meet the needs of your partner. You might say, “You do this all the time, but you don’t listen to me.” Instead, you could say “I feel sad when I don’t hear you.” A more constructive environment will be created by using language.

2. Defense

Involuntary defense mechanisms are used to protect people. It is usually in response to criticism. This only makes the conflict worse. It sends the message to the other party, “It’s no one’s fault; it’s yours.” They stop trying to be. Listening to one another is the key to achieving your main goal. You will be able to show your worth.

How can this be changed?

The crucial Step one to change This behavior is called taking responsibility. Accepting a part of the problem and accepting responsibility will lead to a mature and constructive attitude.

3. Humiliation

This is the most destructive behavior pattern of all four. This is where one spouse makes fun of the other. “I am superior to your.” The message is sent. It can be verbal or written, although it may not always occur verbally. Body language. It can manifest as sarcasm and giving advice. In the eyes of his partner, the other party views himself as insignificant and worthless. Relationships are at their worst when you have a negative attitude..

How can this be changed?

This behavior can often be the cause of major problems. This behavior can be difficult to change. One of the Change the way you communicate is one of the most important steps.. “I can understand that you are tired, but could you please be more cautious?” Your language will be more constructive, and convey a more positive message.

4. Walling

This is when one party tries to explain his position during the discussion, and the other stops communication. This is an attempt by partners to not inflame the discussion. However, it can be quite positive. “Whatever you say, it doesn’t matter to you; you are worthless.” conveys the message.

How can this be changed?

If one party is getting tired and not ready to talk, the other party should politely say so, then take a break and continue. It is more harmful to the other party to end the conversation or leave the room unannounced.