We’re all more or less familiar with the statistic that between 30 and 40% of marriages end in divorce. While this is a reasonably high percentage, most of us tend to take it for granted; because we know that marriage is a difficult job to manage. But have you ever thought about friendships that end in “divorce”?
Friendships are vital to our holistic well-being: They can help us recover faster from illness, reduce the risk of heart attack, alleviate depression, and even sleep better. So when a long-term friendship means something to your ends, it can be almost as upsetting as a divorce.
Ending a friendship can be very difficult and painful, but if that friendship no longer adds to you or even hurts you. So here are eight signs that signal you need to end your company:
1. They expect you to be there for them 24/7, no matter what.
Did you know that women have higher expectations of their friends than men? While it’s okay to have high expectations from friends, it can be a problem if every time they want to talk, they ask you to stop what you’re doing and say that they need you. If you are in this kind of friendship and your friend wants to be there for you whenever he needs you, try to understand how it makes you feel. We guess it doesn’t feel good; this attitude is an essential indicator of a one-sided relationship. When this happens, your friend devalues you by assuming their needs are more important than yours.
2. They make fun of you in front of other people and argue that it’s just a joke.
Has a friend ever told you “jokingly” about a situation in which you felt uncomfortable or something you told him with confidence that he wouldn’t tell anyone else? When you got upset with them, did he laugh and respond with an answer like “You’re being too sensitive” or “It was just a joke”? If this is the case, this indicates that your friend does not respect your feelings. What you tell him as a secret should stay between you. If your best friend can’t even keep a secret or finds it worth sharing to make others laugh, the question is, does he care about you?
3. They expect you to read their mind, and they get hurt when you fail.
While sometimes you can read their minds because you know your friends so well, you should never be expected always to know what they want, think, or feel. Communication is essential in friendships and romantic relationships or marriages. Without clear and honest communication from both sides, that friendship cannot be expected to develop. Talking about how you feel, your dreams and desires, or even your expectations from a company are all signs of a healthy relationship—sharing these shows that they trust each other by allowing both parties to express their vulnerability. This, in turn, helps the friendship grow and develop.
4. They make all the decisions in your friendship.
The best way to tell if this is a problem in your friendship is to imagine how you would feel about it if someone you care about telling you about it in their marriage or romantic relationship. Do you decide together which movie to watch, what to eat when you go out, or where to go next time? Or does your friend make all the decisions for you? If your friend’s spouse or partner wouldn’t let him decide anything, I’m sure you would warn him about his relationship. The same goes for your platonic friendship. Just like romantic relationships, the company requires an equal partnership where you are taken seriously by each other, and your sharing is valued.
5. They lie.
Of course, this is an undeniable sign, but it is worth noting, especially this one, If it is a recurring situation. Although it can be difficult to pinpoint when people are lying, body language can give us some clues. Still the most reliable lie detector, It’s always your intuition. After all, you get to know your friend, and when something feels wrong, relying on your mind-body connection is an excellent way to understand how honest your friend is with you. If you have caught your friend telling a big lie or lying multiple times, you should ask yourself why your friend is lying to you. Can you trust them to be honest about a critical situation? Or rather, should you trust?
6. They are jealous or possessive of you.
Have you ever had a friend belittle your success or take it coldly when you share something you are proud of? Or when you make plans with other people and get upset and fight? These are signs of controlling behavior and can be a danger sign that you are in an inconsistent or abusive relationship. The ideal friendship is the kind of friendship where both parties want the best for each other. This means appreciating each other’s success and having good companies outside of each other’s companies.
7. They abuse you physically, mentally, or emotionally.
Abuse is quite simply and simply the way one person exerts power and dominance over another. Threats, tantrums directed at you, blaming you for his problems, checking your messages, or provoking others against you are all mental and emotional abuse. If you are a victim of this, you should consider ending your relationship immediately.
8. You no longer have anything in common to share.
While this isn’t a sure sign of an unhealthy friendship, it could still signal that you must distance yourself. It can be tempting to hang out with old friends because you’ve known them for so long. However, you may also think you should not give up on this friendship because you put so much effort into your company. But as people age, their interests and priorities may change, meaning you no longer have common interests to share with your friend. It can be upsetting that you are starting to find it challenging to maintain a meaningful conversation with your once-dear friend.
In such a situation, even if you don’t feel the same anymore, you can still want the best for each other and support and respect each other’s decisions without putting yourself in that shaky friendship. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about not being able to fit into that friendship anymore; it’s just that both of you have found different paths that suit you at this stage of your life, and those paths don’t cross anymore. It will also leave you an open door if it makes sense to respectfully step away from best friend status and reunite in the future.
We hope no one will have to part ways with their close friend, but if you find that friendship is no longer suitable for you, know that taking a step back is an entirely healthy move.