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3 Thinking Ways to Keep You in Control in the Face of Setbacks

There has been a time when a day that started well has turned sour for you due to successive setbacks. Those days when our stress level increased, and we begged, “let this day be over”…

There are examples such as spilled coffee on a day when you woke up very well, your nail polish that you carefully applied deteriorated before it was completely dried, your phone dropped as a result of being hit by a careless person while walking in the hallway or on the road, a program you set weeks ago was canceled due to the workload that day, and your computer broke down that morning. These setbacks can be reproduced. As much as you want to stay calm, this will not help reduce your stress level. On the contrary, the current situation can become much more frustrating for you. Using some methods to deal with these and similar situations makes it possible to take back control.

First of all, you should know that temporary impasses happen to everyone.

In addition, the methods of solution-oriented thinking, emotion-focused thinking, staying calm, and being aware of your emotions will make you feel better and take control of the event.

Solution-oriented thinking

This system of thinking is based on finding the cause of the problem and producing a solution by focusing on the source.

Why did this happen to me? What is the source of the problem? If your computer is broken, it would be best to understand the problem and seek technical support on this issue.

Emotion-focused thinking

Do you ever beat yourself up for situations that are out of your control and that you cannot change? At such times, the best solution is to accept that we cannot change and try to feel better by controlling our reaction to it.

Maybe we can’t change the situation for the moment, but we can change our stance in the face of that situation, how we will feel, and in short, who we will be!

It would be good to repeat to yourself that the mishaps that happen to us during the day are not the end of the world, that it is just a bad day, and that tomorrow will be a new day. Do not underestimate the power of suggestion. “Yes, it would have been fine if it hadn’t, but it did; nothing can be done about this situation now.” Even saying that is enough to put us at ease from time to time. Because unfortunately, we tend to magnify what happens when we are stressed. Thus, we can escape exaggerations and delusions and gain a more realistic perspective.

Being aware of your emotions

Before you can deal with your emotions, you must first be aware of them. You can’t deal with something you don’t know.

Let’s start by naming it first, shall we? “What’s the name of the emotion I’m feeling right now?” Anger or sadness? Worry or fear? Maybe right now: “What does this mean now? How do I not know what I’m feeling?” You may be saying. Be sure that a completely different feeling can come out under what we think we feel.

Are you angry with him for lying to you? Or did you trust him so much that your heart broke? Are you sad that he left you, or is the fundamental emotion behind this mood the fear of being alone?

At first, putting a name to your feelings will not be easy. But as time goes on, with practice, you’ll get to know yourself and, more importantly, your emotions better. Once you know your feelings and how you feel, it is much easier to manage or even change them. Because the action we take to relieve anger is not the same as the action we take to alleviate sadness. You can think of it as misdiagnosing the patient. Misdiagnosis means unfair treatment.